While enjoying an evening of live music and food outdoors at the Divers Diner on the island of Bonaire with friends, I happened to spot a bottle on the shelf behind the bar that certainly looked strange.  It was filled with wood chips — it looked like the kind you’d use for mulch in your flower bed or shrubbery !  Needless to say, I was curious and asked the barmaid what it was.  She told me it is a combination of rum, red wine, honey, tree bark and herbs.  And, with a wink and a smile, she said, “It is thought to be an aphrodisiac!  You should try it.”  She had me at “Hello!”  Okay, I admit that visions of strong desire coursing through my veins while surrounded by beautiful island women flashed through my mind.  I thought it at least worth a try, right?

Mamajuana is about 30% alcohol and is high in antioxidants.  It, supposedly, increases vitality, energy, and blood circulation in addition to relieving congestion and flu symptoms.  The jury is still out on whether it cures or prevents COVID.  It purportedly is also a tonic for your kidneys and liver.  Sounds more like something you would buy from a huckster at a carnival tent!

The concoction also contains star anise, basil, local cinnamon, along with roots, sticks and leaves from the cat claw tree, brazilwood, cissus plant, and canelilla.  In addition, the bark from the Anụnụebe tree, thought to have “magical” properties, is also added.

A product originally from the Dominican Republic, I could not find any evidence that its claims have been evaluated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) or recommended by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC).  With the lack thereof, indeed, it could be a slippery slope to go down that path.

Nevertheless, I thought, “What the hell… line me up with a shot!”  I took a slight sip at first to make sure my liver and kidneys didn’t explode and to make sure it wasn’t some kind of substitute for napalm, then threw the rest of the shot down my throat.

I waited…

It didn’t taste awful; I felt no change in my liver and kidneys.  I had no uncontrollable urges and, sadly, no beautiful island women appeared.  The only logical explanation must be that one shot is not enough.  So, being the rational sort that I am, I asked for another and immediately slugged it down.

I waited…

Now, in fairness, the bottle does not have any indication of what the actual therapeutic dose for adults might be so I can make no claims of false advertising.

I’m still waiting…