Mamajuana

While enjoying an evening of live music and food outdoors at the Divers Diner on the island of Bonaire with friends, I happened to spot a bottle on the shelf behind the bar that certainly looked strange.  It was filled with wood chips — it looked like the kind you’d use for mulch in your flower bed or shrubbery !  Needless to say, I was curious and asked the barmaid what it was.  She told me it is a combination of rum, red wine, honey, tree bark and herbs.  And, with a wink and a smile, she said, “It is thought to be an aphrodisiac!  You should try it.”  She had me at “Hello!”  Okay, I admit that visions of strong desire coursing through my veins while surrounded by beautiful island women flashed through my mind.  I thought it at least worth a try, right?

Mamajuana is about 30% alcohol and is high in antioxidants.  It, supposedly, increases vitality, energy, and blood circulation in addition to relieving congestion and flu symptoms.  The jury is still out on whether it cures or prevents COVID.  It purportedly is also a tonic for your kidneys and liver.  Sounds more like something you would buy from a huckster at a carnival tent!

The Magical Anụnụebe Tree

The concoction also contains star anise, basil, local cinnamon, along with roots, sticks and leaves from the cat claw tree, brazilwood, cissus plant, and canelilla.  In addition, the bark from the Anụnụebe tree, thought to have “magical” properties, is also added.

A product originally from the Dominican Republic, I could not find any evidence that its claims have been evaluated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) or recommended by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC).  With the lack thereof, indeed, it could be a slippery slope to go down that path.

Nevertheless, I thought, “What the hell… line me up with a shot!”  I took a slight sip at first to make sure my liver and kidneys didn’t explode and to make sure it wasn’t some kind of substitute for napalm, then threw the rest of the shot down my throat.

I waited…

It didn’t taste awful; I felt no change in my liver and kidneys.  I had no uncontrollable urges and, sadly, no beautiful island women appeared.  The only logical explanation must be that one shot is not enough.  So, being the rational sort that I am, I asked for another and immediately slugged it down.

I waited…

Now, in fairness, the bottle does not have any indication of what the actual therapeutic dose for adults might be so I can make no claims of false advertising.

I’m still waiting…

 

Auto Train Heaven … Could I possibly have been wrong ?

Previously, after our December 2016 Auto Train trip in Business Class, I described riding the Auto Train as Dante’s 10th Circle of Hell.  On December 27 this year,  we decided to give it another try with a few very important tweaks.  I have to admit this experience was significantly better than our previous two fiascoes and has changed my mind about the Auto Train.  My apologies to Amtrak !

Over the years, we have booked a (1) Superliner Bedroom (with private bath), (2) Business Class seats, and  (3) Superliner Roomette (no private bath).  The Superliner Bedroom and the Superliner Roomette provide complete privacy with a lockable door.  All classes receive dinner in the dining car at your appointed time–there’s usually about 3-4 different time slots you can sign up for–we always take the earliest as they often run late on subsequent dinner times.  A little explanation of our experience with each is warranted to understand my change in view.  Some “tips” will be found at the end of this post.

First, the Superliner Bedroom with private bath seemed like a great idea.  No mingling, and with your own private bath, no waiting in line for your bladder to burst.  Simply close the door and it is completely private.  The seats inside the Superliner Bedroom fold down into a one lower single bunk with a pull-down upper bunk overhead.  Cozy.  Private.  But in fact, we slept not a wink.  The rhythmic clickety-clack you see in the movies is a myth on the Auto Train in a Superliner Bedroom.  The train is pulling a maximum capacity of 320 automobiles in car carrier freight cars and is more than 3/4 of a mile long.  There is a constant tug and pull as all those passenger and freight cars rock and roll.  The Superliner Bedroom is pretty much like a James Bond martini–shaken, not stirred.  For the quality of the ride it is clearly not worth the price, aggravation, and discomfort.  To make matters worse, because there are 320 automobiles on the train being offloaded one at a time, we waited almost three hours in the station for our car to finally make an appearance.  It was a simply awful experience and I swore we would never subject ourselves to it again.

However, after experiencing the horror of driving to Florida via I-95 right after Christmas (bumper-to-bumper in both lanes, 85 mph or the car behind you practically crawled up your tailpipe, and incessant delays from the predictably high number of fender benders, and heaven help you if there is any kind of bad weather), the Auto Train was starting to look better.  Our second attempt several years later was in Business Class.  In theory, there is more legroom than on an airplane (there is), and possibly in Coach.  Our intent was to simply recline the seat back, curl up, and sleep all the way to Florida.  You can read the details of that road to hell on one of my previous posts.  Unfortunately, in Business Class you hear everyone snoring along with other even less desirable biological noises, being constantly bumped by people trying to walk around in a moving train as they head to the bathroom or just go for a stroll to talk to other people while you’re trying to sleep.  Throw into the mix seats that had at most 1/2″ thick padding and, by the time we arrived in Florida, I was so numb it felt like my ass had fallen off — I could feel nothing below the waist!.  We swore we’d never do it again (famous last words).

But alas, there was yet one more Pit of Misery (Dilly, Dilly !) we hadn’t tried — the Superliner Roomette.  Picture a phone booth with bunk beds.  Before bedtime, you had two very comfortable recliners facing each other across a window.  After diner at bedtime, the steward folded the seats into one long lower bunk (putting a thin mattress over it to cover the small spaces between seat cushions–quite comfortable actually) and there was a pull-down upper bunk made up the same way.  In fact, Heide and I both slept like babies.  We didn’t feel the terrible shaking we had experienced years before in the more expensive Superliner Bedroom with bath.  It was an amazingly comfortable, pleasant trip (of course, it helped my mental state that the train was actually on time on this trip and the wine at dinner probably helped).

We didn’t miss the private bath because, in truth, who wants to shower in the morning using the tanked water on a train?  More importantly though, I have a theory (you knew I would) about the real difference between the rides.

First, let’s get Business Class and Coach Class off the table.  There is simply no way to get comfortable on those seats given the length of time the trip takes.  Add in the jostling by other people, the auditory bombardment and biologic olfactory apocalypse and it’s quite easy to eliminate that mode of travel.  It was over 18 hours of the most uncomfortable hell imaginable.  No Coach.  No Business Class.

But why, you ask, did we have such different experiences between the trips via the Superliner Bedroom w/bath (hell) and the Superliner Roomette (heaven), aka phone booth with no bath?  Here’s my theory:  the bunks in the Superliner Bedroom are laid out perpendicular to the tracks to make room for the private bathroom.  The bunks in the phone booth sized Roomette are laid out parallel to the tracks.  Now, picture your train under the tree at Christmas.  As the train moves, the couplings between the cars have a little “give” (i.e., they are not a tight, rigid fit).  Consequently, as the train encounters the inconsistencies of the terrain and rails, the train tugs and pulls along its entire 3/4+ mile-long length and results in a lot of movement–both rolling side-to-side and tugging back and forth.  The Superliner Bedroom bunks that are perpendicular to the tracks cause the tug/pull of the train to ROLL your body back and forth all night long–the rolling causes your head to be high one moment and low the next.  It leaves you with the constant feeling that you are going to roll out of bed and thus no sleep.

On the other hand, the Superliner Roomette bunks are parallel to the track and, thus, in line with the tug/pull of the train motion. You are simply being jostled gently from head to toe (rather than rolled side-to-side) and feel perfectly secure in the bunk.  The side to side motion was like being rocked in a cradle.  Frankly, it reminds me of sleeping on our boat at anchor.  We slept like babies.  Wine helps.

One last tip:  Book really early (we book a year in advance) and cough up the $60 for Priority Offloading.  In doing so, yours will be among the first 30 cars off the train at your destination.  Be willing to adjust your travel dates by a few days, if necessary, to get the Priority Offloading — it’s worth it.  When we arrived on the morning of December 28, we had our car and were on our way about 15 minutes after they started unloading vehicles.  I have no doubt that many of our fellow passengers were waiting 2-3 hours to get their cars.

Your mileage may vary.

Nicaragua: Planning and Ultra-Light Packing

We spend considerable time planning. As Admiral Painter (aka Fred Thompson) told Jack Ryan in The Hunt for Red October in his slow Tennessee drawl, “The average Russkie doesn’t take a dump, son, without a plan.”  I believe the “plan” is what makes for a smooth trip. Spontaneity is clutch and fuels the adventure factor, but the base plan needs to be in place upon arrival so the essentials of life are already taken care when you disembark at the airport (think bottom two layers of Maslow’s Hierarchy–see below).  If the ancient philosophy of stoicism is the pursuit of tranquility, good planning is the road to get there.

Planning

We’ve carefully developed pre-trip and packing checklists (links provided below) that have become instrumental in making our trips easier to plan, to travel, and far more care-free once we get there.  As a result, we can confidently be ready in a day to leave for months at a time on a moment’s notice and not worry about forgetting a thing.

Maslow's HierarchyTops on the list is the “where,” of course, but we talk about next year all year long and agree on the destination long before we start the planning. This year, because of my two-week scouting mission in December 2014 to Managua, Nicaragua, the “where” was easy to answer. During my previous visit here I stayed at a small boutique hotel that is centrally located in the city of Managua. The hotel has but 20 rooms plus two apartments. We rented one of the apartments for four months with a second bedroom and bath for guests. It’s in a convenient location in the city and the hotel staff are some of the nicest people we’ve met in all our travels anywhere.  The pool is right outside the apartment door! Grocery store, pharmacy, mall, lots of restaurants, are all within walking distance.  Good planning.  Peace and tranquility upon arrival.

Ultralight, Hassle-Free Packing

We travel light purposefully.  By not checking bags, we are able to be more nimbly around the airport and there’s zero chance of the airline losing our bags.  With a GORUCK GR-2 backpack and a McCoolker Multifunction Messenger Bag (it’s NOT a man-purse, dammit) along with a Maxpedition attachable shoulder pad, I can pack everything I need for a trip of indeterminate duration and not have to check any bags.  As it turns out, much to many travelers surprise, they have laundry services around the world so packing 30 outfits for the month becomes somewhat crazy.  And, what you might need more of can be purchased wherever you go.  Obviously, hair products are not high on my list.

I’ve become a true believer in the Tim Ferris (author of the 4-Hour Work Week) “buy it there” concept (B.I.T.).  Basically, the BIT idea is to pack lean and light and purchase what you need when you arrive at your destination rather than lugging stuff.  For example, we buy the sample sizes of toothpaste, deodorant, etc. at the grocery store for our backpacks.  When we arrive at our destination we are good for about 4-5 days, perhaps more, until we do the Arrival Grocery List run to stock up.  We then purchase the local full-sized version of our supplies for use during our stay–NOTE: Brand names in foreign countries differ so you really have to read labels to find equivalent products.  As soon as we do so, we restock the sample-sized versions in our backpacks, if necessary, and we’re ready for the next journey.  Doing so let’s us pack only what is essential without the excess weight of larger supplies.  By the way, this works whether you are staying for 4 months or a shorter vacation (1-2 weeks).  Why carry what isn’t necessary?

We pack enough clothing for about a week and then rely on local services to “refresh” our clothes.  I’ve done a lot of reading about the concept of ultralight backpacking–ultra referring to super light weight.  Consider that when carrying all your belongings for the trip with you on your back, a few extra ounces here and there end up turning into excess pounds and I’ve become very conscious of what things weigh (no, NOT obsessive compulsive).  My goal is for my backpack to weigh in under 20 pounds, the lighter the better.  For example, I usually pack six shirts (two collared polo shirts; five t-shirts–remember I’m also wearing one of these on the flight).  A typical Russell Athletic cotton T-shirt weighs about 10.7 ounces; the Under Armour Tech-T Shirts are 6.4 ounces each–a difference that may seem inconsequential.  But, you would end up carrying 3.4 extra ounces times 6 shirts = 20.4 ounces extra by packing cotton.  That’s ~1.4 POUNDS of extra weight with no significant benefit.  The Tech-Ts are a lightweight, quick drying, breathable fabric that is wonderful in hot weather.  They are 100% polyester, which I normally avoid like the plaque, but the weave of the fabric is somehow different and breathable.  I love them.  They also fold compactly.  Granted the Tech-Ts are more expensive than cotton but I don’t have to lug the extra weight.  And that 1.4 pound savings is just the shirts.  Shaving ounces across shorts, underwear, supplies, etc. adds up to real pounds.

Similarly, I buy lightweight, breathable, quick drying travel pants that have zip-off legs and usually only take one “pair of legs” along.  Since our travels are usually someplace warm, the occasions where I need long pants are few and far between.  I also buy ExOfficio Underwear which are similarly lightweight, breathable, and quick drying…you’ve got to love their advertising slogan:  17 countries. 6 weeks. One pair of award-winning underwear. (Ok, maybe two.)  Keep the secret but I pack more than two.

With underwear, t-shirts, shorts, a pair of Teva sandals, and a pair of Merrell Moab Ventilator Hiking Shoes, I’m all set.  I pack the sandals because they can lie flatter and I wear the hiking shoes on the flight.  Upon arrival, I switch to the sandals for everyday wear–have rarely worn socks since I retired !!!  The hiking shoes I use only if we are going on nature hikes in the wilds of wherever we are or in, heaven forbid, cold weather.  The Teva sandals are quite comfortable for all the walking we do.

For your reading pleasure here are links to our Pre-Trip Planning Checklist and the Travel Packing Checklist.  Put your seat in the upright position, stow your tray tables, and fasten your seat belts.

We’re off.  Godspeed.